I’ve now watched all six episodes of ‘The End of an Era’, the docuseries chronicling Taylor Swift’s epic Eras Tour and all the behind-the-scenes work that went into it. Phenomenal.
Now, I’m sitting here, quietly, on a Sunday evening, having worked on my latest pencil portrait (Zara Larsson, another popstar powerhouse!), thinking about how we went from ‘A Place in This World’ to … well – global superstardom, billionaire status, and musical mastermind. I still clearly remember listening to Taylor’s debut album all those years ago, thinking about how I one day wanted to touch the world with my words the way she was touching me with her music. How she was such a breath of fresh air; relatable, interesting and different from everything else on the market. My classmates, crushes and bullies were fickle, but Taylor’s music remained constant, understanding, and gentle.
I’d found my idol.
With her immeasurable success, this really gives hope to all the girls all over the world who – like me – didn’t find success in the schoolyard. Those of us who were always just a little soft, far too sensitive, considered uncool, and refused to sharpen our elbows. Look at Taylor – she’s still her kind, sweet, goofy, generous self, despite everything that’s happened to her. That takes mettle. She knows who she is, and what she has to offer – and we’re lucky to be a part of it.
As for my own development, I used to listen to all her love songs with a yearning for my own ‘Love Story’ one day.
“It’s the first kiss, it’s flawless, it’s really something … it’s fearless”
— Taylor Swift, ‘Fearless’
Years and years went by.
I waited and waited. Did my best, too. Hoped and prayed (I’m an atheist).
Started checking my invisible wristwatch …
Well … was a fairy tale in the cards for me?
Ever?
I’d endured enough. I was sectioned at 17 years old after a psychotic breakdown shattered our world. Diagnosed with schizophrenia at 18, during my seven months in hospital. I’d been bullied horrendously since moving from London to Roskilde, a small town in Denmark, and it just never seemed to stop. As a result of my illness, I couldn’t work or study, and after much effort from my parents, who were my voice when I couldn’t articulate what I needed, I finally got my early disability pension. I’d been hearing voices for as long as I could remember, but didn’t realise it wasn’t normal before I went to hospital. I’d suffered from trichotillomania since I was nine – and, once I regained some control of the condition, I hoped I’d have more luck finding my ‘happily ever after’.
I turned 30 without having had my first kiss.
30 was the year I went to the Eras Tour in Stockholm (Swiftholm).
TAYLOR SWIFT: My favourite song from the album is A Place in This World. Upon the release of Taylor’s debut album, in 2006, I was 12. I was being bullied relentlessly at school, which was causing me to pull out my own eyelashes and eyebrows due to the stress. Suddenly, Taylor Swift entered my life like a whirlwind, putting into words exactly how I was feeling, and expressing other feelings I didn’t even know I had yet. I absolutely love her debut album, which I still have as the CD. Cold as You, The Outside, and A Perfectly Good Heart helped me process my feelings about being tormented and excluded. Teardrops On My Guitar introduced me to heartbreak, Our Song introduced me to romance and butterflies, and I’m Only Me When I’m With You instantly made me think of my bestie, Miranda. She’s been my bestie for over 20 years and is coming with me to see Taylor Swift in concert. When I learned that Taylor’s long-time best friend is Abigail from high school, I warmed even more to this curly-haired blonde country singer and saw myself – and my friendship with Miranda – in her.
FEARLESS: My favourite song from the album is You Belong With Me. I fell in love with the music video instantly – it was so creative and funny, with a happy ending. “She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s Cheer Captain and I’m on the bleachers” and “I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like” resonated perfectly with me. I also adored Love Story; I listened to Fearless on repeat while on holiday in San Gimignano; and Change was a gamechanger for me, inducing a sense of hope that things would eventually get better. By now, I was 14. Soon I would be leaving Danish primary school behind and “starting afresh” at a new school. Or so I hoped. I didn’t know that it was about to be the worst year of my life. This was when I started getting bullied by my classmates for listening to Taylor Swift; classmates who apparently only listened to “indie records much cooler than mine”. I ended up leaving the school early and having an emotional breakdown that saw me isolated in my room with the blinds shut for a month. Needless to say, Taylor Swift’s music got me through this.
SPEAK NOW: My favourite song from the album is Mean, although The Story of Us, Better Than Revenge, and When Emma Falls in Love (From The Vault) are close contenders! I didn’t actually get to listen much to Speak Now at the time of its release (2010), as I was slowly slipping into psychosis. I would later be diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. However, I have caught up with all albums now, of course 😉 I have made a friendship bracelet for every Era, and Speak Now is no exception – it’s purple and fabulous …
RED: My favourite song from the album is Red. “Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street, faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly” is probably my all-time favourite lyric. The emotions, speed and rush it evokes, and, of course, as someone who loves colour, Red perfectly suits my taste. At the time of this album’s release in 2012, I had just been discharged from hospital (after a seven-month-long stay) and was reeling from the chaos and confusion of my breakdown and diagnosis. I could barely string a sentence together, let alone write about my experiences or think about listening to all my favourite music. Everything was just so overwhelming, and I was feeling sadness, frustration, and a great sense of loss. People were making parodies of Taylor’s songs, and I hated it. I felt they were attacking me personally (not in a paranoid way, just feeling great sympathy for my new idol). I love All Too Well, the upbeat 22 rekindled my love for Taylor’s music, and Ronan (Taylor’s Version) recently made me have to sit down and cry like a baby. All in all, Red made me feel all the feels – happy, sad, and everything in between.
1989: My favourite song from the album is Shake It Off. (Thanks, Mum! :-)) I also absolutely adore Wonderland, but as the first one I heard of the two, Shake It Off is epic. I still struggle with shaking off what my bullies did to me, but every time I listen to “I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain” (when I know I have an official IQ that puts me in the top 0.01 percentile of the population :-P) and the rest of this irresistible song, it all just gets a little easier. 1989, from 2014, produced a lot of the pop hits we still all sing along to today.
REPUTATION: My favourite song from the album is Look What You Made Me Do. Oooooooh, how I love this album! What a comeback. Every song is a triumph. …Ready For It?, I Did Something Bad, and So It Goes… are also among my favourites. The music video for LWYMMD is fantastic. I love the snakes, diamonds, red lipstick, and power. In 2017, I was taking back my own power by blogging and also in the process of writing my first book, “Georgias Stemme(r)”. Things were finally starting to look up again, and once again, Taylor got me through it with a smile. “I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time; honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time; I got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined …”
LOVER: My favourite song from the album is Afterglow. I Forgot That You Existed made me feel good, The Man is clever, Soon You’ll Get Better is poignant, and Cruel Summer is currently on repeat. Oh, and of course, ME! has a fantastic music video. So colourful and imaginative … right up my street. In 2019, I was working on my second book, this time in English, which would later become “VOICES OFF: Talking About Schizophrenia“.
FOLKLORE: My favourite song from the album is Cardigan. This album came as such a surprise to all of us, back in 2020. And, perhaps, partly for this reason, I keep going back to it as my favourite album of Taylor’s. It’s such a wonderful album and I love every song on it. Betty, The Last Great American Dynasty, This Is Me Trying, Mad Woman and Hoax are favourites of mine. Taylor showed that she could do indie as well as country and pop, making her even more of a superstar. But, as those of you who know me will know, I will not be wearing grey (this Era’s colour) to the concert 😉 I’m simply too much of a colour fiend for that. I do, however, have a grey cardigan from Taylor’s The Tortured Poets Department merch line … so, I guess that’s my tribute 🙂
EVERMORE: My favourite song from the album (again, 2020 – does Taylor ever sleep? :-D) is Coney Island. Another amazing album, another beautiful song. No Body, No Crime is also highly addictive, and Marjorie delivers lyrics such as “Never be so polite you forget your power / Never wield such power you forget to be polite”. Classic.
MIDNIGHTS: My favourite song from the album is Anti-Hero (but I could go on: Maroon, Snow On The Beach, Karma, Mastermind, The Great War …). 2022; just before the publication of my first English book. Life was going much better for me at this point, and I was soaring in my recovery. Now, I loved seeing Taylor excel and succeed, instead of “just” hanging on to her songs as a lifeline. I smiled knowing she was winning … and so was I.
THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT: My favourite song from the recently-released album is Clara Bow. Along with the beautiful music video for Fortnight, with Post Malone, and other amazing tracks such as I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can), The Manuscript, and So Long, London, this is yet another bull’s-eye from Swift, who deserves every bit of hard-earned, billionaire, pop icon success she gets. The most famous person in the world. What a star.
